During business consultations in companies, managers share their personal anger reduction techniques. Here are a few. Practice them:
= use physical energy: run, play a sport, take brisk walks… So channel your built-up emotions.
= write down your angry thoughts, then throw the list into the garbage.
= slow down your reaction time when angry; count to 10 before responding and avoid saying the first thing that comes to your mind.
= if the frustrating person is pushing your anger buttons: use a neutral tone of voice and say excuse me? or “I hear what you’re saying” or “clearly it looks like this issue is annoying you”
= if the other person is aggressive and loud: in contrast lower your voice. Your contrasting calmness fills the air.
=summarize what you heard before answering. Do not assume.
= use assertive skills such as: I statements: I feel hurt when you .. Instead of you hurt me by.
= if the other person is incapable of carrying a civil conversation, then shift the conversation to a more neutral topic.
= remember you do not have to win every argument; agree to disagree.
= practice praising in public keeping your criticism to private.
= never use sarcasm; it increases the tension in the air. Instead, turn the humor on you. See yourself as the ruling emperor who has absolute powers to which, the rest of us, your subjects have to kowtow!! Make fun of yourself so bring your inflated ego down to size.
And now some of my preferred techniques:
= picture this: closing the shutters of the window …. leaving the angry thoughts behind the closed shutters
= when you’re angry, it’s easy to lose focus. So, write down what you want to say.
= take a real time out. Most often there is not much rush to respond immediately. Besides you will appear more poised if you do not respond immediately to provocation. You can say I prefer not to react when upset. I will come back in ½ hour and we can talk about this
= when angry deliberately slow down your breathing. Take a deep breath through your tummy. Exhale pushing down your shoulders.
= you dont eat continuously during the day just because there is food around. You eat at specific times of the day. Similarly, you dont want to binge on angry thoughts anytime and anywhere. So decide on a time / place to focus on angry thoughts and solutions to frustrations. – Stimulus Control Technique Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
= St Francis of Assisi said: a ray of sunshine is enough to drive away many clouds. Imagine that your angry thoughts are the clouds weighing down on you. Allow the sunshine through. Let the clouds goooo
= tell yourself privately that the one who avoids getting the anger buttons pushed is the winner!
And a final perspective: everyone brings joy to this world. Some, when they make their entrance to the world. And some when making their exit. Which one will you be?
Make sure to watch my videos on How To Control Negative Thoughts and practice the Thought Stopping Technique in those videos.
Listen to my videos often. Pick one suggestion and use it for a while. If it is effective, then keep it.
And remember. What you say to yourself makes you feel what you feel!
Good luck and smooth sailing! See you soon.
Dr. Louise Aznavour
Psychologist = Solution Oriented Coaching =
+1 (514) 983-8309
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