Just came out of my team meeting and I wanted to share with you something from the hot press. I missed you, by the way.
What happened is this. The situation made me think of how divorces take place, how people are fired, even wars can happen because of this type of miscommunication and mind reading.
So do a Google search, first of all, “mind reading” okay.
Also do a Google search on “cognitive distortion”. Mind reading, cognitive distortions.
This is coming from cognitive behavior therapy and also many universities are continuing to do studies on this but this is a real event that just was related to me by my team in Europe.
So what happens is this. The boss and the project manager are communicating.
The boss asks “Did you arrange the meeting?” “Yes I did and it’s going to be taking place at four o’clock.” “Okay, I’ll go I have a meeting now I will go to that one and then directly will come to the four o’clock meeting.”
“Would you like me to be attending the meeting?” “No it’s not necessary actually not really.”
So 4 o’clock comes, the boss goes to the 4 o’clock meeting. There is no project manager. People at the meeting ask the boss “Where is the project manager?”. Now the boss is “I don’t know”. She picks up the phone and calls the project manager who says “Well I’m doing food shopping”. Now the boss is fuming inside and hangs up the phone without saying anything, doesn’t make a dent, finishes the meeting. After the meeting calls the project manager and says “Where the hell have you been?
You were supposed to be at the meeting, this is your meeting and in fact you are the project manager. They ask me questions I don’t know how to answer. It’s your meeting for heaven’s sake and you are doing food shopping?”.
“Well I asked you “Do you want me at the meeting?” and you said no. In fact…” the project manager adds “I felt that perhaps you did not want me to take the credit and that you did not want me to be at the meeting.” “What are you talking about? This is your meeting”… So on, so on, it goes on. My friends…
Honestly this type of communication mishaps occur quite often and really divorces take place and people get so uptight and upset that they collect information like this. So what I do suggest is you do your Google search. I mean really I am hot. It’s hot from the press and I really wanted to share with you cognitive distortions as well as miscommunication, misunderstanding and difficult conversations.
Very important topics, okay. I just wanted to share with you, yeah. Take care. Bye-bye.