There’s a beautiful teaching poem. You can find it, you can read it.

“The Six Blind men of the Hindoostan”.  I will analyze this poem:

The six blind men are faced with an elephant, and each is supposed to describe what an elephant is like.

The blind men stepped forward to touch the creature that was the subject of so many arguments.

The first blind man reached out and touched the side of the huge animal.

“An elephant is smooth and solid like a wall”, – he declared. “ It must be very powerful”.

The second blind man put his hand on the elephant’s limber trunk.

“An elephant is like a giant snake”, – he announced.

The third blind man felt the elephant’s pointed tusk

“I was right”, – he decided.

“His creature is as sharp and deadly as a spear”.

The fourth blind man touched one of the elephant’s four legs

“What we have here”, – he said.

 “Is an extremely large cow”.

The fifth blind man felt the elephant’s giant ear.

“I believe an elephant is like a huge fan or maybe a magic carpet, that can fly over mountains and treetops”, – he said

The sixth blind man gave a tug on the elephant’s coarse tail.

“Why this is nothing more than a piece of old rope, dangerous indeed”, – he scoffed.

My friends what’s happening here is that in essence in this world blind is leading blind, and in the shouting match the one who’s louder seems to be winning in the short run, and the narcissist perhaps creates the world that he wants to see around him, and collect all the accolade, however, as I always have said: 

“Look at how people are behaving rather than what they say, necessarily, the behavior is important. I have gone through quite a lot in my close circle – my family having lost very precious people – family members which made me grow and become more tolerant and also patient as far as events.

And I have learned how to select my friends. They are never “deal friends” with whom i make deals and I have so many people around me who actually select or want to be around people with whom they have deals. And they say: “I love you, i love you, i love you”, everybody says: “I love you” like the woody allen movie, everyone says “I love you” .It has nothing to do with love it’s deal making.

So I say: don’t choose your friends is the deal makers. Don’t have “deal friends”, have real friends.

In Armenian we have a word “Paregam”.

“Paregam” is a very delicate sounding word too. “Paregam” is the person who wishes you the best, he wishes you well, he is on your side, and that is “Paregam”. That is the meaning of a friend not deal making. And if a person who is not in our family right now had said and she had considered herself part of family for a while had said: “I scratch your back and you scratch my back”, what a philosophy so we are scratching backs now rather than wishing the best, wishing well to people.

So in this “six blind men” each of us obviously are helping the other to see part of our world. What if we also try to understand that the totality of what we are capable of seeing is something that we can aim towards. How about that?

So each blind man, you know, creates his own version of reality. So in order not to create versions of reality, whenever I talk about a situation, I give concrete examples. Try to use concrete examples, then the other person cannot negate what you are talking about. 

Go and read the six men of six blind men of Hindoostan, discuss with your friends, open the eyes of your friends, get them to truly communicate with you and with each other rather than making deals – who has more money, whose money can I take, oh my goodness honestly. 

I am in the stage of my life, where legacy has become very important to me and real humans have become of utmost importance to me and trust me there are quite a lot who try to latch onto me like glue however they do not realize that their behaviors are also observed. And just because one is polite it doesn’t mean that one is a pushover. One might be seeing all the totality of the elephant and one might choose not to necessarily talk about it with everyone, okay, so be a “Paregam”, meaning be a good well-wishing human friend, be a “Paregam”. And also do not ever forget that whoever who is a liar or narcissist or user is a loser and in any case their spider web becomes destroyed at one point, because they choke within that spider web themselves.

Truth sets you free, turn towards the light, turn towards the sun, and you will not see shadows, leave them behind, they are not worth it okay. Take good care my friend, “Paregam”.

Dr. Louise Aznavour
Psychologist = Solution Oriented Coaching =
+1 (514) 983-8309
Montreal, Canada

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