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TOUGH LOVE AGAINST SELF ENTITLED

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My message today is to the youth. In our times perhaps every time it’s not only now that the youth perhaps have learned that the world owes them, there is a self-entitlement. Rather than developing character the eyes are scanning out trying to find out what can I take from who can I take whatever. Instead what’s it what if we develop character we make our own bed and we do not feel self-entitled and psychologists when they are talking about the narcissism is increasing in the society as well as the self-entitlement, lack of boundaries are increasing in society.

So we love you all, the youth of today is our hope for tomorrow, so listen to this one minute video and job interview. It’s funny at the same time. It can be tragic unless we learn, we get lessons, we put lessons out of it, will you please listen to that. Also if you have the time read Dr. Jordan Peterson’s Book 12 rules for life developing character rather than thinking that others should take care of us: 

JD: – Amy, it says you are trained in technology that’s very good, are you adept at Excel?
A: – No.
JD: – PowerPoint?
A: – No.
JD: – Publisher?
A: – Not really.
JD: – Exactly in what area of Technology are you proficient?
A: – Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram, Vine, Twitter, you know the big ones.
JD: – I’m surprised you didn’t say Facebook.
A: – That’s for old people like my parents, funny.
JD: – Well Amy, when you’re working for me, you have to have those kind of research skills, because I’ll send you things for you to comb through and get the answers and send them to me. So for that, you’ve got to be really good at technology.
A: – For stuff like that no problem, I’ll you know just ask Siri, you know, Siri tell me this, Siri find me that, we’re all good getting you the answers.
JD: – Tell Siri I want you ready to go at eight sharp each and every morning.
A: – I don’t understand.
JD: – What don’t you understand?
A: – What you just said. 
JD: – You don’t understand, be ready to go.
A: – No, you said eight, right?
JD: – Yes
A: – Eight like in the morning eight?
JD: – Yes, in the morning.
A: – Yeah, that kind of doesn’t work for me, who gets up at eight?
JD: – I do.
A: – I Skype with my French boyfriend in Paris until like three in the morning. I don’t even get to Starbucks until like 10, where I order my Grande chai tea, latte, three pumpkin milk, white water, two percent foam, extra hot, but not too hot, so if it’s okay, I work best in the morning at 10:45. 
JD: – Wow, Amy I don’t think you’re gonna be a good fit.
A: – Why are you so negative? I can sense your hostilities and right now I am not feeling very safe. I’ve been here for over five minutes and the only nice thing you have said to me was nice resume, which I typed all night for this meeting with you. You’ve given me no guidance, no validation, no encouragement, no supervision. Is there an HR Director somewhere?
JD: – HR Director?
A: – Yes, I need to speak to someone. I may have to take off today as a mental health day.
JD: – Take the day off? You Amy, Amy, look at me, you don’t work here.
A: – Are you firing me?
JD: – Okay, yes.

It’s funny, at the same time it can be tragic unless we learn, we get lessons, we pull lessons out of it. These types of situations are real, they happen. For instance, finishing her BA a patient of mine wanted to be hired by the Banks as a portfolio analyst, money manager to clients and developed private clientele. And I did ask what about her knowledge of the stock market? What about the world news, local news? No idea. She just wanted to wake up around 10 o’clock in the morning, get her dog for a walk and that’s it and then perhaps go for an interview once a week. At the same time she was very very chic, living with her parents, eating their food, no rent expenses, she felt entitled at the age of 24. That the world owed her. 

The generations are being pumped up with egos while dumbing down of society still continues. As Marshall Mcluhan said – “The medium is the message”. Knowing how to package oneself, with impression management wanting to become a social influencer does not necessarily make one a ready-made content relevant human being. Ouch! Another patient in her mid-20s wanted her parents buy her the most expensive handbag by Louis Vuitton and that truly believed that money grew and the food also grew in the refrigerator. It was so important for her to compete with friends and also imaginary people on the social media such as Facebook images and stories. Narcissism pushed this young woman to be self-entitled. There was no consideration that her father had cancer, that he was operated on, that was that he was in the process of losing his job and possibly his life as well. So what do you do with such information? Tell me please. The husband privately went alone, blurted out to the therapist that his wife always felt self-entitled and that her own needs always came first and she was not even aware of this. Over the years she took the money meant to take care of the child’s needs including the child’s food and as a mother she spent that money on her very expensive beauty products even including cellulite creams. So you know role models are very important. So as parents, are you good role models? Children and young adults are watching. 

Now, are we supposed to laugh? Wake up. I think we should wake up, because these people then at the age of 40-45 again become patients of psychologists deep down into depressions. Self-entitlement is not helping anyone. These younger ones or middle-aged ones who come to me usually have not had good role models and what they get from me is tough. In essence they wake up perhaps for the first time that there are realities in life. Cognitive distortions are shaped during therapy sessions and these are useful. The sooner the person lets go of being a victim or being self-entitled or the narcissism, the better the person will be prepared for the future.

Dr. Louise Aznavour
Psychologist = Solution Oriented Coaching =
+1 (514) 983-8309
Montreal, Canada

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